New Year's Day

Here is the first cup of coffee on the morning of the first day of the new year. This is the Platonic ideal right here.

Before we hit the road to drive home, we got to visit Amanda's studio and see her latest work before it was shipped off to be exhibited at the Olson Gallery at Bethel University.

If you've ever wished for a space of your own in which to be creative, let me tell you--Amanda is living the dream.

You can see all of the pieces in "The Life of Perished Things" here, and do go take a look. That painting behind Willem is 8 by 14 feet, and it is spectacular.

It was extra fun for me to get to see all this, as I was with Amanda when she shot some of the video for the project, and I have happy memories of that weekend trip.

Willem looked around for about five minutes before he just couldn't stand it any more. "I NEED A PENCIL. AND SOME PAPER!" 

When someone else sees what you've made and gets the urge to make something himself, well, that's just about the best compliment ever.

The boys were supplied with nicer pencils and paper than they usually have, and then we went home. 

New Year's Eve

On the morning of New Year's Eve, I realized I was outright sick, the kind of sick that would have kept me home in bed if I'd been home and not in Idaho. So I made myself absolutely useless and napped all day while our friends cooked and cooked and cooked. And I prayed fervently that my sinus infection would not prevent me from being able to taste and enjoy my dinner. The Hamiltons cook a mean dinner.

The medicinal properties of a snuggle with a cat who does not normally take to strangers cannot be overstated.

I changed out of my pajamas when the festivities drew nigh.

I just love this picture. That's Willem with his head in his hands and Andrew with the twinkle in his eye.

My prayers were answered! Our epic dinner started with this cheese plate, and I tasted and enjoyed every bite.

Creamy wild mushroom soup. Mmm.

Here are the short ribs in progress. I need more short ribs in my life.

The younger kids needed sleep at some point, but Nels our night owl was allowed to stay up late with the grown-ups, which is his very favorite thing. Dear Amanda let him help with dessert and put him to work in the kitchen. As you can see, he was pretty jazzed to be entrusted with the stirring of the the creme anglaise.

Hello, apple tart.

Here's Nels doing his "I got to stay up late with the grown-ups" dance. I love that dance.

What a time we had, ringing in a brand spanking

sparkly 

new year.

Road Trip

After Christmas we took advantage of some rare time off work for Shaun and drove to Boise to ring in the new year with friends there.

Shaun discovered LibriVox a while back, and it is the best thing ever; volunteers read stories that are in the public domain. It's perfect for supplementing the slim audio book pickings that are available at our public library. We downloaded several family-friendly stories to listen to on our drive.

Maybe it's just the drive east along the gorge. Maybe it was our choice of listening material. Maybe it's this season of our lives, or a coincidence, or the fact that I was coming down with something. Whatever the reason, this drive had the same quiet, melancholic, other-worldly (or maybe next-worldly) vibe that our trip to Walla Walla did.

If you ever feel like your grip on reality is too secure (because where's the fun in that?), just drive through the landscape pictured below while listening to Carl Sandburg's Rootabaga Stories. Ho-leeeeeeee smokes.

Shaun finally cut us off before we got quite to the end of the book, and "cut us off" is an apt expression in this case. The language was intoxicating but the ethos sad. I was well on my way to becoming a maudlin drunk.

Our remaining stories included "The Happy Prince" by Oscar Wilde and "The Light Princess" by George MacDonald. I had read them both long ago and was therefore steeling myself for the end of "The Happy Prince." Shaun, being misled by Wilde's worldly reputation, was completely gobsmacked by the ending. We both got a bit teary and had to take a moment to collect ourselves once the story ended, and that does not happen every day.

"The Light Princess" was not quite so much fun as I remembered it, and was not met with enthusiasm by any of the boys. Ah well. I think there are plenty of other George MacDonald books they will find more to their liking.

I napped because I was getting sick (and because I always sleep in the car), so I missed some of the stories and much of the view, but I'm sure the enforced rest did me good.

Nels wasn't thrilled that our story selection had featured so much death, and though the stories ultimately had "happy" endings, I could see his point. As if in keeping with the theme, we passed what we knew (or hoped) was the worst accident we'd ever see. There was no wreck on the road, but we saw a broken guard rail, a helicopter, an armada of emergency response vehicles (some en route to the scene) and semis backed up for miles. I was glad not to know the details until we arrived, and I said many prayers both when we passed the accident and before we set off for home again.

By the time we got to the Hamiltons' in Boise, I was in a strange, pensive mood. The drive had not just been a means to an end, but had itself been A THING.

And then we were with fabulous friends, and we met their fluffy new cat named Lily. And in my world, friends and cats go a long way towards making everything better.

Christmas 2012

I know it seems ridiculous to talk about Christmas at this late date, but we have not left it entirely behind. We still have our evergreen Christmas wreath hanging on our front door, and it's as perky as it was the day Shaun brought it home. It's already got a red bow on it, so all I need to do is add some pink hearts to keep it seasonal.

We celebrated the holidays at Shaun's folks' house, along with his sister's family out from California. It was just the relaxing time we needed after a few weeks of worry over what was going on in my brain and hosting a party ourselves.

I had a few spectacularly successful days of thrift-store shopping with my friend Patty (my good-luck charm) right before Christmas. I found this print on board in really great condition and thought my in-laws might like it, as they have an entire wall of nice old boat prints. They did like it, as did my niece Heidi, who immediately proclaimed that it was a picture of her and her dad. Shaun's mom put the picture in a corner at the foot of the stairs to keep it out of the way.

After a bit we noticed we hadn't heard from Heidi in a while. She had dragged a bean bag over to the picture and settled herself in with a blanket and a pillow right in front of it. Possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Following Swedish tradition, Shaun's family has always opened presents and had a special dinner on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day they open stockings and have another good meal. I made this fyrstekake (cardamom-almond tart) for Christmas Eve dessert. It doesn't look too great in this picture, but it was beautiful and it was good.

Willem's Auntie Hillary bought him the boxing gloves he'd been pining for. He slept with them three nights in a row.

I had to post the whole series of these because their faces are so stinking over-the-top.

With rain predicted, we woke up to this on Christmas morning!

Christmas breakfast tableau.

Willem really wanted a unicorn kit (?) that he could assemble and paint himself, but the only things we saw were really girly. I found this heavy metal unicorn on my epic thrift store crawl. He loved it and kept asking, "Who got me the unicorn again?"

Heidi loved the boxing gloves too.

The day after Christmas, we went to Camp 18 for breakfast. Here are cousins Henry and Willem in their hickory shirts.

This cat at Camp 18 eschews humans for the most part, but it loves Willem. It climbs right up on his lap when he comes to visit.

Perhaps Willem has a future in zoology if  his dream of being a sculptor doesn't work out.

Fall From Grace

World's Best Mom surprises boys by coming home from the grocery store with Swiss Miss triple chocolate pudding cups to pack in lunches.

World's Worst Mom shows up at the school cafeteria at lunchtime to TAKE BACK the pudding after realizing she bought it in the refrigerated section but stored it overnight in the cupboard.

There's nothing like seeing your children's faces light up at your unexpected appearance and then having to tell them you've come for their pudding.

They actually took it well.

Christmas Break

I thought our Christmas break would drag this year, as it often does, and that I would need to make lots of plans to keep us all busy. But Nels was getting over being sick, so we had to stay home. Thankfully, the boys have taken their hobbies to the next level, which means they can (and do) occupy themselves for hours if they're in the right mood. Or if they have a fresh stack of craft books from the library.

Nels has become very proficient in origami. He brought home a new origami book from the library and created this fighter squadron in short order, all on his own . 

For filling serious chunks of time, model-building can't be beat. Here's Nels building the battleship Missouri, a Christmas gift from Grandpa Scott and Grandma Juli. I can't believe his patience--the guns are the size of fleas. He's also built the USS Arizona and a B-17G Flying Fortress.

Willem, as usual, made stuff out of whatever he could get his hands on, like these bugs made out of Bendaroos. Bendaroos are just wax-coated strings, in case you aren't familiar with them, and I think they are pretty great. To be fair, Nels had the idea to make bugs first, but I think Willem executed it with panache.

Here's Willem punching out the pieces for a model of a cricket that we found for $3 at the antique store. His tongue was out the entire time.

Nels asked me to teach him how to braid, so I did. Here he is practicing on his brother because I wouldn't let him practice on me.

Willem had a little crisis of conscience when he found out we would be having crab bisque for Christmas Eve dinner, and he made this poster to hold up to passing traffic. He loves all creatures, but the pricklier they are, the softer his heart for them is. His stuffed animals include both a crab and a lobster (or crawdad. We're not sure.) He also finds all shellfish to be delicious, which may explain why he never took this poster to the streets. 

The company Shaun works for gave t-shirts to all of the employees' kids this year. Willem was into it.

Speaking of Shaun's work, we decided to host an office Christmas party this year. (There is no official party.) Because Shaun likes to cook dishes that are labor intensive and require special equipment, he decided to make his family's traditional krumkake for the party.

He did the family proud. They were beautiful and delicious.

I don't know why we bothered to clean the house, because everyone hung out in our hideous carpeted kitchen for the duration of the party.

This takes the prize for generous and thoughtful hostess gift. One of our guests brought us this bottle of bitters from The Meadow. And although tamarind is one of my least favorite flavors on earth, this concoction is very tasty. I'm looking forward to experimenting with it.

We were so busy that Christmas was upon us before we knew it. And that was just fine by us.

Eye Post

I'll get us up-to-date on my eye situation here so we can move on to things that are more fun. That's all this post is about, so if you find people yapping on about their doctor visits to be less than enthralling, please do skip it.

I finally put together that I was seeing double every time I exercised extensively, but not at other times. That made me think that my problem wasn't just one of having trouble focusing when I went from looking at things up close to looking at things far away. So I made an appointment with my primary care doctor to see what she thought.

I went to see her in the morning on a Wednesday, the day the boys get out of school at 1:10. This doctor took my symptoms very seriously. At 12:55 I was still at her office, because she didn't want me to leave until she'd gotten to speak to a neurologist on the phone to make sure she was ordering all the right labs for blood work. She also wanted to do an MRI and CT scan of my brain right away, in case I had a brain tumor, or, more urgently, an aneurysm. I didn't find out until my follow-up appointment with the neurologist that the doctor had thought (mistakenly, in the neurologist's opinion) that my pupils were different sizes, so she had been very concerned. I did pick up on the vibes, though. Very intense. 

I finally just had to leave so I could pick the boys up from school. I promised I'd come right back to finish up and get my blood drawn. At school I ran into Willem's teacher and had to cancel the parent-teacher conference we'd scheduled for that afternoon. When I returned to the doctor's office there was an electric buzz in the air, and I gathered they were worried about how long I'd been away. After my blood draw, they ushered me into a room with the boys and told me they were scheduling my imaging. I was thinking sometime in the next few days. They asked could I be there at 3:30. In an hour and a half. I called Shaun at work to see if he could come meet me there, and he could.

One blessing in all of this was that there were no big scary new places to visit. The imaging center happened to be right next to the Fred Meyer I shop at, and just a few minutes from my doctor's office. It was all very familiar, which was comforting. I had just enough time to fill a prescription for Valium at Fred Meyer (I can't even sit in the back seat of a van without feeling anxious) and buy the boys some chicken strips. Shaun made it back and joined us there, and we sat at a little round table while the boys ate. Other tables were occupied by cranky elderly men who had been shuttled over from the old folks' home across the street. I know they were cranky because I overheard some of their conversation, and it was not fit for repeating on a family blog. Not that I'm criticizing, seeing as I only just turned forty and here I am already giving you a play-by-play of my health woes.

Shaun did his valiant best to keep the boys occupied during my scans. I had never had an MRI before, and they warned me that it was loud. It was loud all right, and startling. One series of blats varied unexpectedly from what had come before and struck me as hilarious (maybe that was the Valium was kicking in), and I had a hard time not giggling. Other than that it was fine.

It was dark when we finished there, and time for dinner. We ended up trying a new Mexican restaurant nearby. The servers were all so warm and friendly. In fact, everyone that day had been warm and friendly, another blessing. We ate chips and salsa and felt mildly homesick for California and the Mexican culture that we forget is so much a part of life there. I ordered just the right thing instead of wishing I'd ordered what Shaun had, one more little blessing. We shared a margarita the size of a fish bowl and wondered if it would be our last night of normal.

I felt heavy, but I didn't feel worry or fear. I've always wondered if I'd freak out in a situation like that, and it was such a relief not to. Not that I can take any credit for that. I had friends praying for me, and my state of mind says more about who God is -- faithful--than it does about me.

I don't know how I'd do if the news we eventually got had been bad. After a few hours we figured there was no aneurysm, or they would have called us. By the end of the next day I'd gotten the all-clear for all of the big scary possibilities. All of my blood tests had come back negative too, so I don't have any thyroid disorders or lupus, or any of the other things they were looking at. After subsequent visits to a neurologist and more blood work for more obscure disorders, we still don't know what I do have, but we've ruled out all of the seriously life-shortening conditions.

My MRI did show a few white spots on my brain, which might be totally normal for a brain my age. However, they can't say with 100% certainty that it's not multiple sclerosis without doing a lumbar puncture. Before I do that, though, I am going to see a neuro-opthalmologist (Feb 22) for more specialized tests on my eyes. There are still a few things we haven't ruled out, but I am trying to keep in mind that it's possible I may not ever get the answers I'm looking for. That would be a test, all right. And the reminder that I so often need; that our times are never in our own hands, but in God's.